The Life Jacket of Surrender
I am fascinated by how the term Surrender is used in different contexts. To most people it would appear a very negative term. Something which means giving in. To lose. Feel shameful. But Gurudev’s talks on this word, made me wonder about it. It turned the meaning upside down. Suddenly it became the source of strength for me.
Many years ago, before I started following Gurudev, I was going through extreme mental stress. I was full of anger, fear and doubts. This period in my life was preceded by a period of ambition and growth. I was doing well in my career, was on an upward trajectory. But then I hit my limits which I did not know existed. As I look back, I realize that these limits came from my ignorance and lack of experience in new roles I was getting myself into, both professionally and personally. Ignorance led to misconceptions. And the more I tried to move ahead the more I felt stuck, getting exhausted with long hours and constant stream of escalations.
My perception was blurred. Doubts about myself and others started creeping up. Coupled with stressful family situations, the whole thing became a very toxic mix. And chaos unleashed in life. Something my mind had great difficulty withstanding.
At this point Surrender to God and Gurudev came to the rescue. Our traditions are deeply rooted in spirituality and prayers. We had lost touch with these practices. I remembered words from my late father though about having deep faith in god and that of Surrender to divine.
Having reached the limit of my intellect and strength, one day finally I dropped everything, took leave from work for a few days and became prayerful, and surrendered to God. I surrendered all the good and the bad. The anger, doubts, judgements, frustrations… everything. Just felt empty. I realized that the Prayers are nothing but an act of surrender to the divine. Surrender of our ego and our misconception that we can control everything. Surrender, I realized, meant giving up control… gaining strength in faith. Faith that we are taken care of. I realize now it is a necessary first step to receive knowledge and wisdom of the wise. That surrender suddenly brought calm to my mind, and tears to my eyes. The realization that you do not know everything. And Gurudev showed the way…
I cannot capture all that I learnt in this one article but since here we are talking of Surrender, let me share a few insights I got about this from Gurudev. I read a book An Intimate Note to The Sincere Seeker by Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, which has some interesting takes on Surrender. What he says about Surrender and Responsibility is beautiful. He says,
Surrender and Responsibility go hand in hand. The more you surrender, the more responsive you become. Irresponsible one cannot surrender.
My experience with this — In deep surrender to self, to god you find strength, you know that you are much more capable and you hold yourself accountable. You believe that if a challenge is given to you, then the abilities to deal with it have been given before that. You seek to do your best and more, and then surrender to god to help with the rest. The thoughts of running away fade out of your mind. You remain committed. He reinforces this further in his talk Self Reliance and Surrender. He says,
it takes lot more courage to depend on no one else but yourself, but before you reach there, you need to pass through Surrender which takes a little less.
“Self reliance” as I understand, requires a completely different level of faith, courage and knowledge. Not even worrying/planning/thinking about where your next meal will come from, even when you do not have a penny in your pocket. To focus on what you must do and let the divine take care of the rest.
It is a term I still do not fully understand, maybe I will write about it someday when I realize it. But what I do understand when it is compared with Surrender is that, surrender requires faith and courage, the ability to let go, and be fearless. Even if you know swimming, going into deep waters requires lot of courage, to let go of the shore, a leap of faith. In another talk (Surrender, Shame and Shyness) he says,
In Surrender your head bends and meets with your heart. The head that bends in surrender, does not bend in shame.
In my experience, Surrender helps us dissolve our ego, an ego that does not dissolve risks shaming itself. Everyone makes mistakes and to accept and move on takes a lot of heart. This process also involves surrender.
All these and many more talks have been great eye openers for me. But in my opinion Surrender is the beginning, hence I chose to write about it to start with. Let me close with a very dear quote from Gurudev Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, that I just love —
When someone is drowning in the ocean of attachments, Surrender is the Life Jacket they can put on and wait for the rescue team.
